This is one of the most relevant Montaigne pieces for our age — he takes the position that we shouldn’t be so curious about new and novel information that we pull ourselves away from what we are doing and race toward it. Oh, if only he had to put up with endless notifications at his fingertips.

I’m trying to train myself to be just as nonchalant as Montaigne, to pay less attention to new feeds, to not feel obliged to get back to email right away. I do have an instinct to check boxes and be done with tasks. It’s related to why I’m chronically early for meetings and run ahead of deadlines as much as possible. Having been stigmatized by my Kindergarten teacher (and my agreeing mother) that I was the “world’s greatest procrastinator,” I’ve spent many years trying to demonstrate the opposite.

I am a news junkie, however, an affliction that goes back decades. To help cure this, I recently began a paper subscription to the New York Times and read it thoroughly each morning. It helps me feel like I’m not behind the curve, and if I am, I can easily catch up the next day. It’s also helped me see just how triggering news sites structure their stories these days, peddling dystopia at every turn.

As for nonchalance, I’m working at taking up that approach more broadly in my life, not reading into the actions (and non-actions of others.) I think I’ve generally been this way in my life, but social media trained some expectations into me, such as getting birthday greetings. It reached a peak for me a few years ago to the point that I was keeping a mental scorecard of who reached out and when.

This year, I hope I can get fully back to my pre-social media attitude and be grateful for those who choose to remember me whenever they have time to do so. The worst part about caring very much about how other people treat you is that, in the off chance that someone actually is trying to manipulate you, the only way it can have an effect on you is to care.

If you forgive everyone of minor thoughtlessness by default, you’ll never feel slighted again.

But for an alternative point of view on the same subject, in my guitar class this session, we’re learning the boygenius song “Cool About It.” It’s an interesting commentary on the same subject. Here are the lyrics:

Met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool And make fun of the cowboys with the neck tattoos Ask you easy questions about work and school

I’m trying to be cool about it Feelin' like an absolute fool about it Wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it Tellin' myself I can always do without it Knowing that it probably isn’t true

I came prepared for absolution, if you’d only ask So I take some offense when you say, “No regrets” I remember it’s impossible to pass your test

But I’m trying to forget about it Feelin' like I’m breaking a sweat about it Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it Tеllin' myself, one day, I’ll forget about it Knowing that it probably isn’t truе

Once, I took your medication to know what it’s like And now I have to act like I can’t read your mind I ask you how you’re doing and I let you lie

But we don’t have to talk about it I can walk you home and practice method acting I’ll pretend bein' with you doesn’t feel like drowning Tellin' you it’s nice to see how good you’re doing Even though we know it isn’t true