After that epic essay on a strange misreading of Greek philosophy, Montaigne returned to more familiar, martial grounds for his next piece. There are quotes in here that feel all too obvious to quote about the current disastrous U.S. war in Iran. I’ll just stick to one of those:

some have so great an opinion of themselves and their power that, since it seems unreasonable to them that there should be anything worthy to stand up against them, they put everyone to the sword wherever they find resistance, as long as their fortune lasts; as is seen in the forms of summoning and challenging, fierce, haughty, and full of barbaric imperiousness.

Yeah, it seems apt, especially the part about “as long as the fortune lasts,” given how the U.S. attacks on Iran have not only drained our ability to launch continuing attacks, we might be hampered in our ability to defend ourselves and allies in Europe and the Pacific.

But I’ll leave it at that. Instead, I’m going to apply some of Montaigne’s points to what I wrote yesterday. I stepped back a bit in that one and did not explicitly draw connections to my personal life, although I suppose much could be inferred from it. A description of rejection sensitive dysphoria took up much of my essay, which is a diagnoses often tied to ADHD. I do feel like I have had numerous RSD-like episodes in my life, but don’t believe that I have underlying ADHD driving it.

It’s true that I tend to proliferate interests at an astounding rate, but at least at this point in my life, I match it with exceptional executive function. If there’s some mental hyperactivity at play, I’m able to keep pace with it and tend to keep up with my workload and routine tasks very well.

I do, however, live in a household with three ADHD children, of varying degrees. The number of partially filled cups and glasses in my apartment at any time is astounding. I have also, throughout my adult life, ended up almost exclusively with neuro-atypical women, especially ones with obsessive qualities. And there are at least two autistic people in my immediate family.

This circles back to me as I look at this Montaigne essay and consider the question of defending a hopeless fort — keeping up the fight long after it’s been deemed hopeless. Here, I have to admit that I have a very prominent neuro-atypical trait: what is sometimes referred to as the autistic sense of justice.

I enter one of those RSD cycles not because I feel lonely from a rejection or am experiencing social isolation, but rather because I feel the action taken by someone was unjust. If there’s a core unfairness to the situation, it can take me a very long time to drop it.

This isn’t a great trait to carry around. I’m not someone who has any generalized road rage, but I do get incensed when I see another driver take advantage of rules of the road. One of my bad habits when playing poker is that I always feel obliged to take on players who are bullying the table, even if it’s not in my immediate best intersts. In general, I’m probably far too comfortable calling people out when I think they’re out of line.

In time, I eventually give up my small fortifications over interpersonal justice issues and get on with my life. In most cases, other people could probably defuse them right away just by admitting that they could have handled the situation better. The stubbornness runs both ways.

Regardless, I think it’s rather ridiculous to demand death for people who refuse to give up. as Montaigne details here. Pushing for personal justice for too long can be self-defeating, but I also think our world needs more energy on the side of righteousness. And sometimes the people who most staunchly refuse to give up are those who were actually in the wrong and know it.