“Greeks were deeply aware of the ways in which our successes and our failures—indeed, our very actions themselves—are never completely under our control. They were constantly sensitive to, amazed by, and grateful for those actions that he cannot perform on one’s own simply by trying harder.” There were episodes in my life when I did not act honorably and I can look back on those moments with shame and disappointment.
So much of the life I lead now is based on avoiding personal disappointments. I aim to live honestly and without malice towards anyone. I do work that does not harm anyone and could potentially do some good. I try to devote my life to family and friends.
But whether others consider me honorable or not is beyond my full control. I had the rather shocking realization recently that, perhaps, some might even consider me a villain. So much of life is perspective. The fact that I am honest can rub people the wrong way. The ways that I express my emotions can seem threatening. The affection I show to people I care about could come across as strategic and conniving. My very attempts to live with virtue can be threatening to others.
I have been punished for virtuous acts in my life, which is why virtue must be its own reward. Not everyone will be impressed, many will reflexively disbelieve. Whether anyone accepts the truth about you is, in many ways, out of your control. It’s frustrating and unfair, but an endemic state of life.
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