Montaigne’s treatment of anger relies heavily on stoicism and is therefore unsurprising. He provides some guidance about when and how anger should manifest, but I found this piece of advice towards the end of the essay the best:
This is the bargain I strike with those who may have to contend with me: when you see I am the first to get worked up, just let me go on, right or wrong: I will do the same in return. The storm is engendered only by the confluence of cholers, both prone to beget the other: and they are not both born at the same instant. Let us allow each one to run its course: then we always have peace.
For me, anger is something that tends to burn out very quickly. Once I recognize the counterproductive elements of anger, I tend to stop it and move on to repairing the damage. But there’s always a heavy cost—anger towards inward, which is a major trigger of depression. The more intense the anger, the deeper the melancholic well is likely to plumb. As I’m writing, I’m experiencing one of the darkest moments I’ve faced in quite some time, one that combines hurt, rejection, loss and hopelessness. Wish me luck in pulling out of it.
One minor disappointment about this essay: I wish Montaigne had distinguished between anger and rage. Anger can be a useful emotion if used wisely. Especially if you have a mostly calm demeanor, showing a flash of anger when appropriate can be highly effective—as long as it’s done within boundaries to call out an inappropriate action or behavior instead of attacking or stigmatizing another person.
Rage is something quite different. It is out of control, a spewing of venom without concern for the damage it may do. There is never an excuse to rage and people are right to lose respect for anyone who enters this state
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