I made a semi-conscious decision last week to slow down my writing habit for a bit. Some of the personal issues I’m dealing with I just don’t feel comfortable sharing in this forum, and beyond those obvious topics, I feel no great pull towards expressing anything else. I did write one piece earlier this week about writing itself and the reactions to some of it, but even that came off a bit angrier I intended, which was probably due the closing line. Remove it, and I think the piece is a more accurate reflection of my current state of mind. But no matter, I’m keeping it intact anyway. A little anger sometimes is healthy.
I don’t feel at all angry at the moment, in fact I’m in a surprisingly good mood. Small gestures of outreach from unexpected places can have outsized importance in times like these and I am grateful for them.
In addition, thoughts about accelerating some of my personal plans are making me feel more optimistic and I now see a path towards far more rapid growth in this area than I thought not long ago. Some professional opportunities await shortly after the election and I have a greater sense of clarity about much of my life than I’ve had in awhile.
And yet, none of this seems to be a spur to write about anything in particular. The inspiration is currently lacking. My writing often works best when it feels like a one-on-one attempt to persuade someone about something, and when I’m not trying to reach anyone in particular, I lose focus.
So, my writing momentum has disappeared and the uninspiring result is a piece like this explaining why I haven’t been writing. Does anyone actually want to read this? Maybe. I actually find stories about writer’s block highly relatable, which is why I’m a big fan of both “Barton Fink” and “Adaptation.” I’m just letting my fingers move and see what results. If it’s not worth much, well, it beats a blank page.
My current slump applies not only to this page, but also to my “I’m Thinking About …” project, where I have been stuck on the final essay for about a week. I feel in no hurry to wrap that up. The last scene of that movie is more bizarre the more times you watch it. For a hallucinated conclusion, it’s not nearly as happy as it at first appears.
Well, that’s about enough for one day’s mandatory writing. I didn’t even delve into the election or whether it’s a good or bad thing to fear that Trump will find a way to win it. There’s a sense that life will be different when we’re on the other side of this election. I’m not so sure, but I’m still hopeful.