For anyone wondering after yesterday’s post whether this means the end of my blogging, I can answer a definitive ‘no’ on that. I have come to the end of a cycle, I’ll call it the Anima Project, and I feel good about ending it exactly where it landed.
This website is devoted to writing about Montaigne and essays in the style of Montaigne, which means essays that are primarily about the writer (in this case me.) If I have the urge to write more about Montaigne or to supplement the Anima series, I will post it here. Likewise, if I come up with another idea for a series of essays in the Montaigne style, I’ll write and post them here as well.
You might have noticed that, from time to time, I have pulled back from myself and written other blog posts that would more accurately be called advocacy or review. From now on, I will post those kinds of pieces on my personally branded blog, which is danconley.blog. There’s nothing on the site right now, you haven’t missed anything, but in the future I will write those kinds of pieces for that site and will likely link from Facebook when I want a wider audience (if you haven’t figured it out by now, sometimes I really don’t want one.) I’m feeling the urge to kick up my non-personal writing at this time, so that could become my primary blog going forward, but I’ll need to prove that first.
As for the recently completed project, I have some final thoughts. I went through a pretty traumatic experience and wasn’t fully aware of it at the time. I have gone to therapy off and on for a number of years, but I never really dove deeply into the sensitive stories of my life until working with one particular therapist late last year and early this year. For whatever reason, I felt a special kinship with her and felt comfortable going places that I hadn’t gone before. She felt like an alter ego to me.
When the professional relationship ended, I had a big mess to clean up. How do I process what just happened and why? How should I think about this? How long will I feel this way about it? Those kinds of questions I covered with a really excellent therapist — I’m eternally grateful — and through this blog.
I’m not entirely in the clear in this story. There’s still a part of me that is reluctant to talk about those sensitive subjects I plumbed with my past therapist and believes that those stories are partly hers as a result. There’s a part of me that only wants to examine those stories with her and is reluctant to find someone to replace her to do that work. Finding the comfort to share those stories with someone new — and trusting that person not to drop me off at a convenience store in the middle of Allegator Alley (whoa … major psychodynamic flashback there … yes, true story) is my ongoing work.
But, I have made progress and in addition to my last CB therapist, I also want to thank everyone who has read this blog and tolerated my meandering thoughts on this strange topic. Even if you have done so silently, you have provided incredible support to me when I needed it and I’m grateful. Writing is a central part of my personality and the best way I know to process thoughts and feelings. So, thank you for indulging me while I worked things out so publicly.
And I would appreciate it if you would stick around for whatever comes next.